March is Women’s History Month.

And while we’ll spend the next few weeks celebrating women who changed the world, I’ve been thinking about a different kind of history.

The many women I know who changed their own lives.

Not publicly. Not packaged for Instagram. Not dramatically written up in a 600-word Substack post.

Just with a decision.

The kind of history I’m thinking about is private.

Sometimes it happens at a kitchen table after a long day of, well, everything. Or in a journal named Gloria sitting in a private pool at the Royalton in St. Lucia while celebrating your 50^th birthday. What a time I had!

It happens in the moment a woman decides she will not live the next decade the way she lived the last one.

Beginning again isn’t impulsive. It’s intentional. It’s what happens when you’ve lived enough to know what no longer fits. And you make the decision to do something different.

Years ago, I designed a piece for She’s Got Papers that reads:

I’m Still Standing.

Inside I printed: I’m stronger. I’m wiser. I’m grateful. And I’m here.

if that message resonates with you, the “I’m Still Standing” card is available in the She’s Got Papers shop. Click here.

At the time, I thought it was about resilience. Now I understand it differently.

You’re not lost. You’re reassessing. There’s a difference and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.

Lost feels frantic. Disconnected. Like you’re in a rush with no clear direction.

Reassessing is quieter. It has a rhythm to it.

It’s what happens after you’ve lived enough to know that not every next step needs to be rushed.

You’re taking a beat. And beats are necessary.

A lot of women I know reach this point after years of doing what needed to be done.

Building careers. Holding families together. Being the dependable one. The capable one. The good Sister. The reliable Auntie. The one who couldn’t buy a break on sale at a discount store. It’s been a lot.

Nod your head if you know what I’m talking about.

And then one day, the questions change. You go from can I do this? to Do I still want to?

That doesn’t mean anything is wrong. It means you’re paying attention.

To the signs. To your body. To the sound of your voice that you learned to silence just to get through.

Reassessing is a season that asks for honesty more than action. For space instead of pressure. Pushing through pressure impairs your judgment.

Believe me, I’ve tried it. That’s a newsletter for another month.

I’ve learned to treat every season with respect. To give it time. To let clarity arrive instead of chasing it. The pause that putting pen to paper provides is like no other tool.

You don’t have to name the next chapter yet. You just have to tell the truth about the one you’re in.

That’s usually where everything begins to shift.