If you’re going through hell this is what you should do.
Many of you saw me on your television in April of 2021 featured on GMA3. I left my corporate job in 2016 to run She’s Got Papers full time and in the last 8 years I have taken a trip that Shonda Rhimes herself could not have written. There were family health challenges, a separation from my life partner of 17 years, a return to Corporate America and now, the birth of She’s Got Papers & Home. Mama has been busy!
My grandmother used to say God doesn’t close one door without opening another. I say, true. But sometimes it’s hell up in the hallway. The hallway is where the pivot begins. Where that setback meets the comeback. Where you get up off the floor and get back to business. If you’re in the hallway, let me tell you what I know works because I’ve lived it.
But before I do, let me say this. Joy cometh in the morning.It always does.
Three ways to pivot successfully:
1. Look for the rainbow. When you find yourself at a crossroads it’s human nature to panic. Please don’t.It will only make things worse. If you panic, you can’t think and it throws your central nervous system into overdrive. More on that in another newsletter. You have to keep a clear head. Usually there’s fear, overwhelm and sometimes anger. Believe me, I experienced all three. Let it come because you’ll prolong the process if you don’t allow it. Sit in your feelings and feel them. Then ask yourself, what is one thing that I can hold onto that is positive about this situation? Find it and hold on tight.
2. Identify your assets.What do you have in your hands and what’s the best way to use it? Do you have a community? Lean on them until you’re strong enough that you don’t have to. If they’re really your people they will have your back. If you need money maybe it’s time to lay the ground work and get that side hustle popping. I needed money and I also needed support. I had a group of women in my life that I could lean on. As you might know, I call them “My Front Row”. There were many early morning and late night phone calls. They were equal parts curse words as well as prayers and here I stand. Stronger, wiser and better. The money was easy. I had worked in Finance for over 20 years. I exited with integrity so I simply went back to what I knew. It matters how you leave. My mother taught me, “you never know when you might have to cross that bridge again”.
3. Give yourself grace. You’re doing just fine. I promise you are. Even on your off days. On those days where you feel like you’re taking 2 steps back, you’re doing great. If you had to compare it to your day one then you would see how far you’ve come, right? Exactly. Keep score, it makes a difference. I do this in my journal. Always remember that no one walks a straight line and there’s no such thing as “easy”. Transitions are the biggest tests that we ever take in life but there’s promise in the pivot. You now have an opportunity to do life differently. To live differently, to work differently and if you’ve truly learned anything to love differently.
She’s Got Papers was created from my love of paper using my life’s experiences. With She’s Got Papers & Home I wanted to offer an opportunity to be inspired no matter where you are. And if you happen to be in the hallway, remember that “Joy Cometh In The Morning”.
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